Parenting Through Change

About The Host

I’m Zoe (they/them). In 2015, I began my recovery. A year later, I started making art. After nearly twenty years of marriage and raising three kids, I came out later in life and found myself starting over around fifty. I had spent years thinking about what my family needed. It took time to learn how to ask, “What do I want for myself?” I’m a California Medi-Cal Certified Peer Support Specialist and a Certified Professional Recovery Life Coach. At 26, I stopped working outside the home and spent the next 20 years as a full-time stay-at-home mom to my three kids. At 50, after my marriage ended, I found myself rebuilding my life. I knew how to show up for my family. Figuring out what I wanted for myself took some practice. My recovery from pain medication began in 2015. Part of my story is learning to speak up for myself when I was in pain. My doctor told me I was overweight and depressed and that if I lost weight, my body would stop hurting. I was still in pain, and I wanted to understand why. I left the pain clinic, became my own medical advocate, and started looking for answers. Eventually, a skin punch biopsy led to my diagnosis of small fiber neuropathy (SFN). I remember what it felt like to keep asking for help after I’d already been dismissed. I also live with fibromyalgia and ADHD. I’ve been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), bipolar II disorder, and complex PTSD (CPTSD), and I have lived experience with anxiety and depression. Some days, what I most want someone to understand is how much effort an ordinary day can take. I’m queer and nonbinary. I came out later in life, and two of my three kids are also part of the LGBTQ+ community. I have no contact with my mother, father, or sister, and that wasn’t my choice. I know there can be grief in missing family members who are still alive. My Ventureño-Barbareño Chumash Native roots are part of who I am. I’m also an artist, a writer, and a drag performer. I enjoy improv and sing in my local choir. You’re welcome to talk with me about recovery on your own terms, chronic pain, mental health, parenting, coming out, or starting over. Maybe you want to practice what to say at your next doctor’s appointment. Maybe you miss someone in your family and want a place to say that out loud. We can start with whatever brought you here.